Burnt to a Crisp
That is the only way I describe how I’m feeling right now.
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More than a little burnt… a full 5 alarm, what was that, charred to a crisp.
I’ve been quiet lately. Really quiet.
If you’ve followed me for a while, you know that’s not like me. I used to love sharing everything…I’ve spent the last 13 years sharing the lessons that went well (or not so well!)…the classroom chaos that made me laugh… the creative ideas that I couldn’t wait to tell you about.
But lately, I just… haven’t had it in me.
The truth is, I’m burnt out. Like, really burnt out.
Honestly, sharing all those things with you meant that I’ve been running at 200 miles per hour.
Teaching, creating, blogging, presenting, mentoring.
Things that I truly love doing.
But somewhere along the way, I stopped resting. I told myself I’d rest “later,” when things slowed down… but they never did. And now, I feel like I’ve hit a wall so hard that I’m still trying to find my footing again.
When I came back to the classroom four years ago, I expected it to be a comfort, a return to something familiar. Instead, it’s been some of the hardest few years I’ve ever had. My classes have been incredibly challenging, and the expectations on me as a teacher feel higher than ever. More meetings, more data, more paperwork, more pressure to do everything perfectly, even when you’re running on empty.
Teaching hybrid during the lockdowns, juggling family struggles at home, learning a new grade level and curriculum… all the stress that comes with that… has caught up to me.
Completely.
I wish I could say I’ve been off working on something exciting, or that I’ve taken a social media break to chase a new dream. But the truth is, I’ve just been trying to make it through the day.
Some days that means giving my all to my students and then coming home with nothing left for anyone else (including my kids, husband, and life).
Other days, it means staring at a pile of work and feeling paralyzed because I simply don’t have the energy to do one more thing.
I let school suck so much out of me. I was a shell of a person for those I truly loved. And they noticed.
My kids stopped asking me to help them because, and I quote, “We know… you’re too tired.”
At one point, my daughter asked if I loved her or school more.
How is that even a question?
And my marriage. That is hanging on by a thread. It wasn’t until something happened with my husband this summer that made me wake up from the zombie state I’ve been passing through.
It was during a marriage therapy session that my husband admitted that he couldn’t talk to me anymore. He couldn’t connect. I was too burnt out, too tired, too much of a shell to care. So, he found someone who did.
I don’t blame him. Who wants to live with someone who puts all their effort elsewhere? Who wants to love someone who barely has enough energy to love back? I blame myself for allowing it to get this bad.
I miss sharing.
I miss connecting.
I miss having fun with my family and friends.
I miss feeling like…me, The Applicious Teacher
But right now, I’m just tired, like deep-down-in-my-bones tired.
Life has hit hard, and I haven’t been coping the way I usually can.
My spark feels dim. My joy feels quiet. And admitting that feels scary, but also… honest.
So I’m trying to heal.
And I’m taking breaks (something I avoided for years).
I’m focusing on tiny wins. The kind that no one sees but means everything when you’re climbing out of burnout.
Things like getting through the day without crying in the car.
Things like remembering to kiss my husband and kids goodbye when I leave in the morning.
Things like taking a break from the mandated developmentally inappropriate curriculum to have fun while we learn.
Things like laughing with my kids at night and realizing that maybe, just maybe, I’m still in there somewhere underneath the exhaustion.
But healing is slow. And it’s hard. So, so hard.
For now, I’m giving myself permission to rest. To say no. To step back from the noise and try to remember who I am when I’m not constantly “on.”
If you’ve been missing me online, please know that I miss you, too. I’m just learning how to take care of myself the way I’ve always told others to.
Thank you for your patience, your understanding, and your love.
I’ll find my way back. I’m just walking slowly this time.
Xo- Leigh
Author’s Note: If You’re Burnt Out Too
If you’re reading this and it feels familiar — like maybe you’ve been holding it together with coffee, willpower, and sheer determination — please know that you’re not alone.
Burnout doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means you’ve been trying so hard for so long that your heart, body, and mind are begging for a pause.
If you can, take it. Take the nap. Say no. Step back. Let something drop. You are still a good teacher. You are still a good person. You are still you.
Just maybe a tired version of you who deserves to rest.
